the evils

I have read at least 5 books about menopause. They all describe mood swings, weight gain, hot flashes etc etc. They just don't give an accurate description of the personal hell one goes through.

1) Mood swings are hell. Mine have been completely out of sync for a while now. It's amazing how one minute I am feeling on top of the world, singing at the top of my lungs. Then BAMM!! I swear I could throw something or someone out a window. I don't get sad or depressed....I get pissed off. About little noises or messes. That part is actually funny since it is usually me who makes the mess. Oh well.

2) I went into my surgery weighing 195 lbs. 2 days after the surgery I weighed 180 lbs. 15 lbs of bloat and tumors and cysts removed. I can't tell you how good I felt after the surgery. It was just so amazing. From what I have read I will be gaining weight from lack of hormones, so I signed up to do the Danskin Triathlon again. This time I will get under 2 hrs. I have started a training program and I hope to do awesome:) I have 8 months to get it under control

3) Hot flashes. What a great description. It feels as if you have an instant sunburn on the inside of your skin. Then it feels like you break a fever and then you are fine. It can last anywhere to 30 seconds to 5 minutes...kinda like the one I am having now. ick. For anyone going through this crap...licorice tea, exercise, and avoiding caffeine help greatly. I promise. Oh and using a down comforter with a nice duvet cover...Sweet!!! the outside of the comforter stays cold so you can keep switching it around. I also enjoy wearing flip flops, short sleeve shirts and hoodies while everyone else is bundled up in parkas and snow boots. This weather just feels so good to me.

4) Cravings...I could kill for chocolate. I used to not like chocolate but after I had my girls I loved it. Now, I could totally kick some butt for a chocolate bar. Yummy stuff...and butterscotch, mint, black licorice...I have developed a crazy sweet tooth.

I went in on October 1st to have a laproscopic hysterectomy. What I ended up having was an abdominal hysterectomy. When the got in to do the first surgery they realized that it wasn't an option, so they quickly went to the next route. The reason being is that I had the worst case of endometriosis they had ever seen. The cyst I had removed back in July had grown back and was twice the size as when it had been removed the first time. I also had so much scar tissue that removing organs was a tough job. Add to that fact that the cyst had glued my girl bits to my colon, rectum and bits of my intestines. My doctor informed me that he couldn't understand my I wasn't in more pain. With as bad as my insides where I should be doubled over not just experiencing twinges when I ate something. I SHOULD NOT HAVE BEEN ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN. He asked if I had any problems with them. Aside from Natalie(bug) not wanting to ever leave and Alanna(wanting to leave early) I didn't have a single problem. Thank God that I wanted children before 30. I love them so much...except when I have a mood swing...then they might just get chucked out a window.