I have read at least 5 books about menopause. They all describe mood swings, weight gain, hot flashes etc etc. They just don't give an accurate description of the personal hell one goes through.
1) Mood swings are hell. Mine have been completely out of sync for a while now. It's amazing how one minute I am feeling on top of the world, singing at the top of my lungs. Then BAMM!! I swear I could throw something or someone out a window. I don't get sad or depressed....I get pissed off. About little noises or messes. That part is actually funny since it is usually me who makes the mess. Oh well.
2) I went into my surgery weighing 195 lbs. 2 days after the surgery I weighed 180 lbs. 15 lbs of bloat and tumors and cysts removed. I can't tell you how good I felt after the surgery. It was just so amazing. From what I have read I will be gaining weight from lack of hormones, so I signed up to do the Danskin Triathlon again. This time I will get under 2 hrs. I have started a training program and I hope to do awesome:) I have 8 months to get it under control
3) Hot flashes. What a great description. It feels as if you have an instant sunburn on the inside of your skin. Then it feels like you break a fever and then you are fine. It can last anywhere to 30 seconds to 5 minutes...kinda like the one I am having now. ick. For anyone going through this crap...licorice tea, exercise, and avoiding caffeine help greatly. I promise. Oh and using a down comforter with a nice duvet cover...Sweet!!! the outside of the comforter stays cold so you can keep switching it around. I also enjoy wearing flip flops, short sleeve shirts and hoodies while everyone else is bundled up in parkas and snow boots. This weather just feels so good to me.
4) Cravings...I could kill for chocolate. I used to not like chocolate but after I had my girls I loved it. Now, I could totally kick some butt for a chocolate bar. Yummy stuff...and butterscotch, mint, black licorice...I have developed a crazy sweet tooth.
I went in on October 1st to have a laproscopic hysterectomy. What I ended up having was an abdominal hysterectomy. When the got in to do the first surgery they realized that it wasn't an option, so they quickly went to the next route. The reason being is that I had the worst case of endometriosis they had ever seen. The cyst I had removed back in July had grown back and was twice the size as when it had been removed the first time. I also had so much scar tissue that removing organs was a tough job. Add to that fact that the cyst had glued my girl bits to my colon, rectum and bits of my intestines. My doctor informed me that he couldn't understand my I wasn't in more pain. With as bad as my insides where I should be doubled over not just experiencing twinges when I ate something. I SHOULD NOT HAVE BEEN ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN. He asked if I had any problems with them. Aside from Natalie(bug) not wanting to ever leave and Alanna(wanting to leave early) I didn't have a single problem. Thank God that I wanted children before 30. I love them so much...except when I have a mood swing...then they might just get chucked out a window.
Friday, December 10, 2010
Sunday, September 26, 2010
1st day of school
Natalie posing so well for her first day of school. Dressed in her favorite color(can you guess?) She has given up wearing dresses and I am a little sad by this fact. She won't wear jeans and so we have found jeggings(jeans+leggings)and it is a process to find the perfect pants. She has to approve of the color and then feel inside the legs to make sure they are soft. Then we have to try on the pants to see if she could even wear them. It is a ordeal and I just can't wait until she is a teenager.
Alanna couldn't care less about clothes. As long as they feel good and she does like red. She is just a happy little girl. She actually would prefer if she didn't have to dress herself either. She likes dresses and pants. She loves red, orange and black. She would wear these colors all the time if she could.
yeah they are weird but I love them
Saturday, September 25, 2010
too much fun
Natalie
Alanna
I have found my cable for my camera...I have download pictures...fear me now
I am a lousy poster
Here I am blabbing about how I am going to be such a better poster....then it has been 2 1/2 months I haven't touched the blog. sigh.
1) My triathlon was awesome. Everyone should do the danskin...well women anyway. It isn't just about being so in shape that you can do it in a hour and a few minutes. There was some one who took 4:44 so don't feel bad. I did it in 2:16:) I was so happy. It was a fantastic feeling to cross the finish line and I loved doing it with my sisters. It is an experience that I plan on doing again next year. I hope you can join me.
2) Natalie(bug) has started 1st grade. She is having a bit of problem concentrating. I signed her up with a program so that she can have a bit on 1 on 1 with an aide to help her stay on task. Poor thing is worried that a girl named savahnah is taking over her friends and she has discovered that savahnnah likes pink poodles so she is convinced that savahnnah is going to go all single white female on her:) just kidding. She is doing well in school despite the attention problem.
3) Alanna(goober) has started preschool and she is loving it. I think she likes it best because she gets to wear her glasses for reading. She is so cute in them. I really need to find my cable to put the photos online. She is loving it. I can't believe that she is 4 years old already.
4) I will be having a complete hysterctomy on october 1st. 11 days before my 32nd birthday. I will be so glad though when my pain is gone. My cyst that I had removed in June has grown back and I can't wait to not be in pain. Anyway. that is a slight recap. I promise I will try to post more.
1) My triathlon was awesome. Everyone should do the danskin...well women anyway. It isn't just about being so in shape that you can do it in a hour and a few minutes. There was some one who took 4:44 so don't feel bad. I did it in 2:16:) I was so happy. It was a fantastic feeling to cross the finish line and I loved doing it with my sisters. It is an experience that I plan on doing again next year. I hope you can join me.
2) Natalie(bug) has started 1st grade. She is having a bit of problem concentrating. I signed her up with a program so that she can have a bit on 1 on 1 with an aide to help her stay on task. Poor thing is worried that a girl named savahnah is taking over her friends and she has discovered that savahnnah likes pink poodles so she is convinced that savahnnah is going to go all single white female on her:) just kidding. She is doing well in school despite the attention problem.
3) Alanna(goober) has started preschool and she is loving it. I think she likes it best because she gets to wear her glasses for reading. She is so cute in them. I really need to find my cable to put the photos online. She is loving it. I can't believe that she is 4 years old already.
4) I will be having a complete hysterctomy on october 1st. 11 days before my 32nd birthday. I will be so glad though when my pain is gone. My cyst that I had removed in June has grown back and I can't wait to not be in pain. Anyway. that is a slight recap. I promise I will try to post more.
Friday, July 9, 2010
surgery
For the past month I have been experience pain. Sharp stabbing pain in my lower right side. I noticed that most of the pain was when I ate food. Mostly meat. So I went vegetarian for about 2 weeks hoping the pain would go away. It did briefly. I saw some improvement but then the pain came back. I went to the doctor where he ordered an ultrasound of my upper abdomen. I assumed he was thinking it was gall bladder, liver or intestinal. The ultrasound came back negative and he still didn't have a clue what was causing my pain. So off to a cat scan I went. That is an interesting experience...the contrast iv they give you makes your body all hot and makes you feel like you have to pee. The cat scan showed a 5inch mass in my lower abdomen. I was freaking out a bit. Who wants to hear they have a mass in their tummy. I received that phone call on Friday at 6pm and heard from the dr, not the nurse. Ick. They told me they would call me on Monday to let me know that they were going to schedule another ultrasound concentrating more in my reproduction area.
I woke up Saturday feeling slightly odd. I just didn't feel good and the feeling got worse as the moring progressed. I asked my SIL to watch the girls and took myself off to the ER. I called Hubby to let him know what was going on. At the ER I spent quite a bit of time explaining that my pain was an 8 and that I all I knew was that I had a mass in my lower right side. They did blood work and an ultrasound where they discovered I had a "dirty blood" cyst on my right ovary. Now my ovary was twice the size it should be and the cyst was 5 times the size of that. No wonder I had such massive pain. I big honking tennis ball lodged against my insides. They told me that my cyst would have to come out and that they were going to send my blood off on a ca125 test. Oh great, not only do I have a cyst...but i might have cancer.
I made an appointment to see my dr to discuss my options and discovered good news. I didn't have cancer. Most ca125 scans come back as "cancerous" They use this test not really to discover the cancer but more like a marker in figuring out how to treat the type of cancer you have. I still had a cyst to remove. I talked with my surgeon and scheduled the surgery for this morning. I was told that due to the size of the cyst and the way it closed around the ovary, both would have to come out. My surgery didn't go as planned. The ovary had fused to the uterus and made it impossible to remove. I also have a severe case of endometriosis. I am glad to find out this information because it explains why I hurt so much during my monthlies. The bad news is that I am most likely going to have to have a hysterectomy.
The thought that I will no longer be able to bear children makes me slightly sad. I am so grateful for my 2 beautiful girls and I know that having Hubby fixed mostly solved the problem of having any more kids. I like the idea that I won't have a period anymore but I don't like the idea of hitting menopause at 32 years of age. I told Hubby that I am going to get a personal trainer so that my body is in the best shape I can make it before the surgery and I plan on doing it after the surgery as well. That way I would only have to deal with crazy hormones:) One can hope anyway.
I woke up Saturday feeling slightly odd. I just didn't feel good and the feeling got worse as the moring progressed. I asked my SIL to watch the girls and took myself off to the ER. I called Hubby to let him know what was going on. At the ER I spent quite a bit of time explaining that my pain was an 8 and that I all I knew was that I had a mass in my lower right side. They did blood work and an ultrasound where they discovered I had a "dirty blood" cyst on my right ovary. Now my ovary was twice the size it should be and the cyst was 5 times the size of that. No wonder I had such massive pain. I big honking tennis ball lodged against my insides. They told me that my cyst would have to come out and that they were going to send my blood off on a ca125 test. Oh great, not only do I have a cyst...but i might have cancer.
I made an appointment to see my dr to discuss my options and discovered good news. I didn't have cancer. Most ca125 scans come back as "cancerous" They use this test not really to discover the cancer but more like a marker in figuring out how to treat the type of cancer you have. I still had a cyst to remove. I talked with my surgeon and scheduled the surgery for this morning. I was told that due to the size of the cyst and the way it closed around the ovary, both would have to come out. My surgery didn't go as planned. The ovary had fused to the uterus and made it impossible to remove. I also have a severe case of endometriosis. I am glad to find out this information because it explains why I hurt so much during my monthlies. The bad news is that I am most likely going to have to have a hysterectomy.
The thought that I will no longer be able to bear children makes me slightly sad. I am so grateful for my 2 beautiful girls and I know that having Hubby fixed mostly solved the problem of having any more kids. I like the idea that I won't have a period anymore but I don't like the idea of hitting menopause at 32 years of age. I told Hubby that I am going to get a personal trainer so that my body is in the best shape I can make it before the surgery and I plan on doing it after the surgery as well. That way I would only have to deal with crazy hormones:) One can hope anyway.
Saturday, June 5, 2010
Relay for Life 2010
This year I chose not to be the Team Captain of a Relay Team. I just got so tired of listening (mostly by word of mouth) how I didn't do the team right or that "THEY" could have done such a better job. So I basically said fine, do it yourself and was able to hook up with another team and walk 6 hours for them.
Relay for Life to Grays Harbor is what the the Susan G Komen is to Seattle. We take such awesome pride in raising as much money as possible for our rinky dink little poor town. I am proud to say that we were #1 per capita in 2009. That is amazing in such a little area such as ourselves.
Back to me. I walked the survivor lap with my mommy. She has been cancer free for 4 years now. I do want to smack her though cause she had thymoma cancer and she still smokes. Most people with Thymoma cancer basically get it because they have other diseases like multiple sclerosis....which my mommy also has. Okay...back to me again. The entire time I was waiting for my mommy to register I kept thinking...this feels so wrong that I won't be here the entire 24 hrs. I really want to be here. I knew I would be walking at the East County relay(the relay in GHC is so big they have to split it into 2 places at the same time) but it just doesn't feel the same way. So my buddy and I decided that we are going to have a team next year...be co-captains. We will not be with any company so we don't feel pressured to take on slackers. We want people who are willing to do the work and if you can't do the work...make us some money! GO TEAM P.M.S!!!! pap, mammogram, survive.
Relay for Life to Grays Harbor is what the the Susan G Komen is to Seattle. We take such awesome pride in raising as much money as possible for our rinky dink little poor town. I am proud to say that we were #1 per capita in 2009. That is amazing in such a little area such as ourselves.
Back to me. I walked the survivor lap with my mommy. She has been cancer free for 4 years now. I do want to smack her though cause she had thymoma cancer and she still smokes. Most people with Thymoma cancer basically get it because they have other diseases like multiple sclerosis....which my mommy also has. Okay...back to me again. The entire time I was waiting for my mommy to register I kept thinking...this feels so wrong that I won't be here the entire 24 hrs. I really want to be here. I knew I would be walking at the East County relay(the relay in GHC is so big they have to split it into 2 places at the same time) but it just doesn't feel the same way. So my buddy and I decided that we are going to have a team next year...be co-captains. We will not be with any company so we don't feel pressured to take on slackers. We want people who are willing to do the work and if you can't do the work...make us some money! GO TEAM P.M.S!!!! pap, mammogram, survive.
so much
Bug went to the hospital last week. She had some severe constipation, what a topic I know. Poor little critter was just in so much pain. We went up in the middle of the night and let me tell you the service was just so horrible. We got into a room right away but I swear if I needed anything I had to go and hunt down a tech or nurse. I do believe we saw the doctor once. She basically implied that I was a horrible parent and that I need to not feed my child crap. HELLO! I was so pissed off. If she hasn't ever had constipation in her 6 years of life don't think it is my fault now. The sent us home with a prescription of suppositories and to eat good food and lots of water. If the pain doesn't go away to return. Now normally I have very good luck with our local hospital. I just didn't this night. We came home Bug stayed home from school and I stayed home from work. The pain didn't go away and back up to the ER that night we went. The service we received on that night was so awesome. Even though they were very very busy the doctors and nurses kept coming by to check on Bug to make sure she was okay. Very nice. They wanted to push some fluids into her so they set up to do an IV drip. As they came into and explained that the IV was just like a thirsty straw and was going to put medicine into her arm she became very annoyed. "If it is putting medicine inside of me it isn't very much like a straw at all is it?" This was followed by "why are you putting it into my arm? I told you my stomach hurts. Why not put the medicine there? Where it hurts." I had to pull the nurse aside and tell her to explain it to her like she was a teenager/adult. Once they did this she was okay and fascinated by every procedure....Of course we did have to shatter eardrums with screaming as the IV was actually being put in. This part made me very sad as she kept telling herself "I got this...I can handle this" Poor baby. They did X-rays and her little tummy was so compacted. She was kept in the hospital for about 6 hours and then when she had gone a bit they sent her home. Happily, she started feeling awesome enough to make it to school on Wednesday.
Oh yeah...she had Goober convinced that if she didn't poop every time she went potty that she had to go to the hospital and get poked with needles. That is a sad thing to witness as I am helping Goober and she is apologizing to me about not pooping. Big sisters are such wonderful things.
Oh yeah...she had Goober convinced that if she didn't poop every time she went potty that she had to go to the hospital and get poked with needles. That is a sad thing to witness as I am helping Goober and she is apologizing to me about not pooping. Big sisters are such wonderful things.
Friday, April 2, 2010
What to write
I deleted my other blog...I can barely keep up with this one, why would I want to have another? So all complaints and stories about my life and my girls will be on this blog. Much easier.
So far in my life...I have joined a triathlon class and have also signed up for the Danskin triathlon to be held August 15th in Seattle if anyone cares to cheer me on...or make fun of me as I fall off my bike or trip at the finish line. I have done well in the class I think. I can jog/run 4 miles without stopping, I can do a 45 minute spin class and I can swim for a mile...probably farther but we never seem to have enough time on the swimming part. I am not losing weight...of course if I adjusted my diet maybe I would. This is something I will be working on. I love my job and the people I work with. My boss is fantastic...Hi Jamie! sad little plug there. After the last boss I had I enjoy having someone I can really talk to who oddly enough understands me. It really helps that she is also someone who likes to do the same stuff little ole hick me loves to do. Hubby and I are doing great. We are currently looking for a new house. I like our old one but we want a smaller house and one that really doesn't require a great deal of maintanance. We love going away for the weekends and want a house that will reflect our new "greener lifestyle"
The girls are doing awesome. Goober(3) is officially potty-trained! Hooray! It is so nice. Pull-ups are an evil invention, both of the girls developed the worst diaper rash with them. Even just wearing them at nighttime there little bottoms broke out so bad. Don't use them....trust me. Goober's latest thing is when we take her to the movies, she loves to dance during the credits. I mean jumps down into the aisle and starts busting a move. Doesn't stop. At all. She loves music and loves to sing. She can bust out Journey like nobodies business and she can rock some serious Bon Jovi. Now if only I can get her to be just a little bit more independent. She is my baby and I still see her as one and it is hard for me to let go.
Bug(5) has been a little stubborn, cute snot ball. She is all attitude. She recently had a conversation with my niece involving dolphins.
Niece(16) Bug, what color are dolphins?
Bug. Well they are born gray but turn pink as adults.
Niece. There is no such thing as a pink dolphin.
Bug...Yes there is...it's called a pink river dolphin maybe you should look it up.(imagine this with a hand on the hip, and a look of good lord you are so stupid)
Niece...Fine I will(now looking on google praying there isn't a pink river dolphin)
Bug...oh look there it is. Who is the smart one now.
Now imagine this happening all the time at my house...all the time. This little girl will retain every single bit of information that is to be had. Do not have conversations around her that you do not want repeated. She will remember at very crappy times to bring it up. She had her 2nd conference this year and she is doing very well. In most of the subjects she is exceeds expectations:) She still has a problem with doing her work and her neighbors work as well. We are trying to nip that in the bud. My favorite comment is that "Bug's opinion doesn't always reflect the group opinion but she can usually get the group to her opinion and she will not back down until she does. Makes a mommy proud.
That's it for now.
love ya all
So far in my life...I have joined a triathlon class and have also signed up for the Danskin triathlon to be held August 15th in Seattle if anyone cares to cheer me on...or make fun of me as I fall off my bike or trip at the finish line. I have done well in the class I think. I can jog/run 4 miles without stopping, I can do a 45 minute spin class and I can swim for a mile...probably farther but we never seem to have enough time on the swimming part. I am not losing weight...of course if I adjusted my diet maybe I would. This is something I will be working on. I love my job and the people I work with. My boss is fantastic...Hi Jamie! sad little plug there. After the last boss I had I enjoy having someone I can really talk to who oddly enough understands me. It really helps that she is also someone who likes to do the same stuff little ole hick me loves to do. Hubby and I are doing great. We are currently looking for a new house. I like our old one but we want a smaller house and one that really doesn't require a great deal of maintanance. We love going away for the weekends and want a house that will reflect our new "greener lifestyle"
The girls are doing awesome. Goober(3) is officially potty-trained! Hooray! It is so nice. Pull-ups are an evil invention, both of the girls developed the worst diaper rash with them. Even just wearing them at nighttime there little bottoms broke out so bad. Don't use them....trust me. Goober's latest thing is when we take her to the movies, she loves to dance during the credits. I mean jumps down into the aisle and starts busting a move. Doesn't stop. At all. She loves music and loves to sing. She can bust out Journey like nobodies business and she can rock some serious Bon Jovi. Now if only I can get her to be just a little bit more independent. She is my baby and I still see her as one and it is hard for me to let go.
Bug(5) has been a little stubborn, cute snot ball. She is all attitude. She recently had a conversation with my niece involving dolphins.
Niece(16) Bug, what color are dolphins?
Bug. Well they are born gray but turn pink as adults.
Niece. There is no such thing as a pink dolphin.
Bug...Yes there is...it's called a pink river dolphin maybe you should look it up.(imagine this with a hand on the hip, and a look of good lord you are so stupid)
Niece...Fine I will(now looking on google praying there isn't a pink river dolphin)
Bug...oh look there it is. Who is the smart one now.
Now imagine this happening all the time at my house...all the time. This little girl will retain every single bit of information that is to be had. Do not have conversations around her that you do not want repeated. She will remember at very crappy times to bring it up. She had her 2nd conference this year and she is doing very well. In most of the subjects she is exceeds expectations:) She still has a problem with doing her work and her neighbors work as well. We are trying to nip that in the bud. My favorite comment is that "Bug's opinion doesn't always reflect the group opinion but she can usually get the group to her opinion and she will not back down until she does. Makes a mommy proud.
That's it for now.
love ya all
Tuesday, February 2, 2010
Mafia and loose teeth
It has been a dramatic month...January that is.
Bug has had a loose tooth for what seemed to be forever!...and it was just hanging by a root....so annoying. So our family has been trying to pull it out and Bug was such game. She let us twist and pull that tooth every which way and she didn't have a care. That darn tooth stayed. We sent her off to school and wouldn't you know it, she lost it at school. The teachers gave her a nice tooth necklace for her to wear and taped it shut so she wouldn't lose it. Yeah, she lost it. When I picked her up for school I waited outside and after 5 minutes one of the teachers motions to me and I hear her wailing(keening) before she had even made it to the door. Poor thing was so distraught that the tooth fairy wasn't even going to visit her because she had lost her tooth. I very carefully explained to her that this sort of thing happens all the time and that the Tooth Fairy understands. All you have to do is draw a picture and she will still visit. Bug slowly stopped crying and became excited about drawing a picture. We started our drive home when I got a phone call from the school, "We found Bug's tooth. The janitor had grabbed a flashlight and crawled all over the floor and found it in the corner." Hooray! We turned the van around and picked up the tooth. The Tooth Fairy brought Bug 5 quarters...she is 5 and a new doll since it was her very first tooth.
Tooth number 2.
This one had also been hanging on. I could see Bug wiggling that thing all over and it was bugging me as well. I called Bug over and layed her across my lap and told her I was going to pull the tooth and I was only going to try 3 times. She agreed. So I hooked my fingernail under the tooth and said, "Bug look at that!" When she whipped her head around the tooth popped out. (yeah, I rock) She looked at me and said, "Remember our agreement? If you pull out a tooth I get a suprise." I remembered. I put the tooth in a baggie and sent Bug upstairs to show it to Aunt B. In about a 2ft by 4ft area the tooth fell out of the baggie and was forever lost. Couldn't find the darn thing. Even got down on our hands and knees with flashlights, it is gone...She drew a picture and got 5 quarters.
Mafia Hit
Bug was at school and another little boy was annoying her at activity time. She kept asking him to stop but according to her, he wouldn't. So she asked that little boy next to her to give annoying boy a wedgie. He did. I then got a phone call because the little boy who gave the wedgie ratted Bug out. Bug got to sit with the principal. When I asked Bug why she did it, "If I had done it I would have gotten in trouble...so I had J do it because he gets in trouble already." She is a Mafia hit girl. Sadly the Mafia runs in our family....so I guess she is just getting ready to go into the business.
Bug has had a loose tooth for what seemed to be forever!...and it was just hanging by a root....so annoying. So our family has been trying to pull it out and Bug was such game. She let us twist and pull that tooth every which way and she didn't have a care. That darn tooth stayed. We sent her off to school and wouldn't you know it, she lost it at school. The teachers gave her a nice tooth necklace for her to wear and taped it shut so she wouldn't lose it. Yeah, she lost it. When I picked her up for school I waited outside and after 5 minutes one of the teachers motions to me and I hear her wailing(keening) before she had even made it to the door. Poor thing was so distraught that the tooth fairy wasn't even going to visit her because she had lost her tooth. I very carefully explained to her that this sort of thing happens all the time and that the Tooth Fairy understands. All you have to do is draw a picture and she will still visit. Bug slowly stopped crying and became excited about drawing a picture. We started our drive home when I got a phone call from the school, "We found Bug's tooth. The janitor had grabbed a flashlight and crawled all over the floor and found it in the corner." Hooray! We turned the van around and picked up the tooth. The Tooth Fairy brought Bug 5 quarters...she is 5 and a new doll since it was her very first tooth.
Tooth number 2.
This one had also been hanging on. I could see Bug wiggling that thing all over and it was bugging me as well. I called Bug over and layed her across my lap and told her I was going to pull the tooth and I was only going to try 3 times. She agreed. So I hooked my fingernail under the tooth and said, "Bug look at that!" When she whipped her head around the tooth popped out. (yeah, I rock) She looked at me and said, "Remember our agreement? If you pull out a tooth I get a suprise." I remembered. I put the tooth in a baggie and sent Bug upstairs to show it to Aunt B. In about a 2ft by 4ft area the tooth fell out of the baggie and was forever lost. Couldn't find the darn thing. Even got down on our hands and knees with flashlights, it is gone...She drew a picture and got 5 quarters.
Mafia Hit
Bug was at school and another little boy was annoying her at activity time. She kept asking him to stop but according to her, he wouldn't. So she asked that little boy next to her to give annoying boy a wedgie. He did. I then got a phone call because the little boy who gave the wedgie ratted Bug out. Bug got to sit with the principal. When I asked Bug why she did it, "If I had done it I would have gotten in trouble...so I had J do it because he gets in trouble already." She is a Mafia hit girl. Sadly the Mafia runs in our family....so I guess she is just getting ready to go into the business.
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